Recent Posts

Archive

Tags

You have a good life yet you feel unfulfilled. Why?


This is becoming a familiar discussion topic with a few of my friends, when you feel you have a good life - nice home, great partner/kids/family/job, no real financial issues, time for yourself and looking at it all you should be your happiest EVER yet, you feel a bit 'empty' , like something is missing and you can't put your finger on what it is. You feel somewhat unfulfilled.

One friend of mine mentioned to me about having so much support from her husband - he had no issues with her changing careers, re-training or supporting her in what she wants to do yet she just can't work out what she wants or what she could do to fill this empty 'void'... she knows that many women would love to be given this opportunity yet she doesn't feel lucky, she doesn't feel like it's an opportunity for her to shine... she feels a bit lost and a tad ungrateful & guilty.

My first question to my friend or anyone else feeling like this (or not feeling as may be the case) is 'What would make you happy right now?'

We can often just 'go with the flow' in life and as we get carried away on the ebb and flow of 'life' with external pressures like job/career, wealth creation, marriage, kids, family - we forget what we actually want. Dare I say yet again, we lose the capacity to be curious. With these outside influences and 'life' you tend to put you on the back burner and sometimes it's difficult to get back on the front burner. It seems easier to just go along with the status quo - a career that is uninspiring, same old relationships and conversations, mundane routine every week - many people think of excuses that keep them where they are - No more excuses my friends!

Which brings me to my next question is 'How much do you really want to be fulfilled?' Making excuses will sap your motivation and trust me, you will find an excuse every time. Remember, if you want to change bad enough you will ditch those excuses.

Small incremental change will start you on your path. No one is asking you to take a mammoth 'leap of faith' (of course if that floats your boat don't let me stop you!). Start by taking small steps and incorporating smaller things into your life - get up half an hour earlier for YOU, read instead of watching an hour of mind numbing TV, add 2 different coloured veggies into your dinner, drink one extra glass of water, say 'No' to something... you will be amazed at how empowering doing these seemingly small things make you feel.

Back to my friend. We talked about her creative talents and leaning into them a bit more. When we got talking we decided that we are going to do a painting event together - both of us are excited as it's new for me and a little bit out of her comfort zone too... a social/ networking/creative event. What fun. This is a start and let's see what opportunities and possibilities come from it! My friend is now excited about this prospect and it has ignited some fire in her again...

Lastly we talked about looking around and seeing possibilities and signs.

You know when you want a red car and all you seem to see are red cars, checking in with yourself and having a mind that is always looking for new and different things will open up things for you, for her.

Doubt and an 'I can't be bothered' sentiment will block any ability to see things in a new and more opportunistic light. Stop saying you don't know or it's too hard and ask yourself these questions so that you can start to find your fulfillment today -

- How much do I want to fill this empty void in my life? - When I'm out with friends and I feel 100% comfortable, what lights me up? What sparks my interest? - Am I willing to let all judgement slide and look at things with an open mind? - What would make me happy right now? - Who do I know that I can reach out to that could help take me out of my comfort zone? (Think of a friend who likes to do something different, has a different group you can be introduced to, can suggest something new to do) - What one small thing could I do today to get me closer to that happiness?

To give you an idea of how easy this exercise is here is what it could look like if you took some time to answer these questions -

- I want to feel me again, I want to have an interest for Me so YES I want to fill this void very much. - When I'm with friends I love talking about food ... what we eat, what triggers us to eat certain things, how much we eat, how we feel about it... It fascinates me. - I know I'm not a nutritionist and don't have a background in all things food and it has stopped me in the past because people may thing I don't know what I'm talking about but I'm open to exploring this area. - I have a friend who is a chef and plant based hero who may let me see inside his world. - I could call my friend and arrange a meet up to talk about my interest and see if he can help guide me or just see if I feel ignited by our conversation. If so, it could open up some possibilities for me.

You will be pleasantly surprised at the momentum you will get once you start so as I love saying 'Go on give it a try, you have everything to gain'.

Have a fabulous week.

Dawn

+61 408 532 808

NSW, Australia

©2020 BY INNERSELF COACHING. PROUDLY CREATED WITH WIX.COM