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Letting go 101

What is holding you back? Is it you? of course it is... Letting go enables you to gain a greater sense of who you are and what you want. Losing the ties that draw you back can propel you to greater self awareness and reduce anxiety and disappointment. The following are a number of exercises in Letting Go. Take some time and try one or all and see if you can feel lighter and better about being YOU -

Letting go of your burden - Are you carrying someone else - in your relationships and family ? Are you in a difficult relationship which no longer serves you but you remain in the relationship because its your duty and you feel you can't change anything? Have you persuaded yourself that you must be strong? What burdens are you carrying? Sit down and try and name the burdens your family carry and what you feel you carry with you. If you want to change and get this issue or burden out of your life try this - Write the name of your issue or burden (a name you have created, a persons name, an item, the issue name... whatever) onto a stone and take it to a lake or body of water and hold the stone and say your farewells then throw it into the water - throw it as far as you can. See it go... You are letting these burdens go into their own domain, you have allowed it to be removed from your being and into its own space. You no longer have to carry this with you.

What about that inner voice that tells you to be perfect or you are never satisfied with what you achieve... let go of that inner voice and the thoughts you have that you can't do something. Write down a list of 5 ways you would want to express yourself if nothing mattered ... Push the boundaries, go outside of your comfort zone and take a step towards completing one of these every month. For example, you want to take an art course and your first step could be to buy a small canvas and some paints and take 1 hour out of your schedule and paint away... see where this leads you... be open to possibilities.

Letting go of hurt that you have suffered or that you caused can be difficult. One of the ways to let go of negative memories is to use visualisation. Visualisation comes once you have an awareness surrounding you - take a seat, make sure you wont be disturbed, close your eyes and concentrate on your breathing - in... out.. in... out... feel the rise of your breath on the inhale and the fall as you breath as you exhale. Do this 12 times. As you breath in think to yourself "I am calm"when you let go of that breath think to yourself "I feel great". Now, think about the hurt that you have suffered or caused or the person, feeling or memory that you want to let go of. Go deep into those thoughts and remember them in detail paying attention to what upset you most. When you have identified the issue exactly open your eyes and write down the issue in a simple way, perhaps a simple drawing. Write NO in your own way over this sentence or drawing, write it over and over again. Draw a circle around your sentence or drawing and then think about it one last time. Take the paper and crumple it as tight as possible. Get a container or open fire and BURN IT. This unhealthy attachment has been recognised by your subconscious and this symbolic action makes it easier to let go.

What about if you just know you need to let go of something but are not sure what? You are feeling STUCK or just discouraged and not firing on all cylinders... Fear is what is holding you back so as Anthony Robbins say's 'Feel the fear'...This exercise is good for everyone whether you know what you want to let go of or not. Fear - what fears do you have that stop you being yourself? What fears stop you letting go? Are they real fears or are they just in your imagination? Are there fears useful and serve you? What do they protect you from? Do you want to keep them? Why? For how long? If you want them out of your life, what will you replace them with? Are there obligations which allow this fear to stay in your life? Identify who has put these obligations on you? - Family, partner, children, boss... What are your non negotiable obligations? Are there obligations that you want to let go of? - in your family, personal, work, social lives. Look at the obligations and ask yourself - what makes me take these on? Write these down. Look carefully at them and score out the ones that are not required because they are not representing the real you. Why are you living with these fears? Why do you accept these obligations? Is it because you will feel guilty? What guilt comes to mind? - Guilt for not being there for them: - Guilt for not meeting expectations; - Guilty of not saying something or of saying something: - Guilty of wanting more... Letting go of your fears and obligations can feel hard on your friends, family and colleagues. List the people who you believe will make you feel guilty? Write a reason next to each name. Take some mindful time and think about if these fears, obligations and guilt make you feel uncomfortable... Do you want to live with it and keep the guilt? Do you want to let it go and lose the guilt surrounding them? Wanting to let go of obligations can be challenging however remember that NO is a sentence although finding a justification that sits well with you may be more your style. Remember people may not like your decision so be prepared to answer their concerns. This is about you not them. Show them love and acceptance no matter what their reply to your decision.

These are exercises to help you discover what you want to let go of and help you evaluate yourself and just how much you want to let go of. Have confidence in yourself and leave those burdens behind and walk to the beat of your own drum.

I hope these have helped you explore the possibilities of letting go.

Enjoy your week and promise yourself that you will at least think of letting go of something that holds you back - you deserve to be yourself.

Take care, Dawn